Awestruck, She Whispered

This past week in my Mechanics of Writing class we were asked to read "The Lottery" (1948) by Shirley Jackson and then write our own stories with surprise endings. This is mine. Enjoy.
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​Awestruck, She Whispered

Elowen delicately lifted a pearly white hand towards the crystal doorknob. With a subtle twirl of the wrist, the door swung ajar. The open threshold acted as a window into a new world. Awestruck, she whispered, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” And she truly hadn’t. 

Before her, hills stretched out as far as the eye could see. Except, unlike the grass covered hills she was accustomed to, these hills were purple and soft lilac colored feathers sprouted from the earth. Elowen took two steps beyond the doorway, and immediately began to float mere inches above the ground. What she thought were butterflies dusted past her but on closer examination she noticed that they were giraffes, only an inch or two in height with colorful wings like those of a monarch. 

Elowen’s doe-like eyes followed the whimsical creatures in wonder before settling on the sky. This sky was such a peculiar thing. All at once, a wave seemed to roll out of nowhere and a pelican swooped gracefully over the ripple, catching a fish in it’s mouth—upside down. In other areas of the sky, where Elowen expected clouds to drift past, patches of green grass shot up, housing trees which towered down from the sky above. 

Elowen playfully ran her fingertips across the leaf of a willow tree, and to her astonishment, each of the green leaves danced at her touch, as if they were being tickled. Once they settled, their color collectively shifted to a happier shade of peach. At the sight of it, Elowen thought aloud, “Peaches sound lovely right now.” As her words left her tongue, a juicy aroma entered her flared nostrils. She inhaled with eyes closed. All of the air, sky, and sea around her smelled of peach pancakes. 

She heard someone calling her name from the house and noticed a thin wisp of smoke making its way towards the ocean from the chimney. “Pancakes,” Elowen laughed.

= =

“Pancakes!” she yelled, “Elowen, breakfast is ready.”

​Elowen sleepily replied, “Of course, mom!” before snoozing the alarm on her nightstand, “Just 15 more minutes…”
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